Self-esteem is you looking at you, like a strict parent. If you succeed in your task, the kudos are often amplified. ‘Wow, I beat the s*&t out of him in that match. I am too good’.
If you fail, the parent might end up nearly burying you under scathing words. ‘What the f*&k am I doing? I don’t have any self-control. I drank 4 bottles of beer. I will never lose weight. I am such a loser’.
Self-compassion is you looking at you, like a best friend. If you succeed in your task, the kudos will be amplified in a subtle manner. ‘I maintained good control over my portion size. Good job!’
If you fail, the friend will be there with you trying to lift you up. ‘Ok, I did not go to the gym today. I am tired and such things happen. Let me atleast do 10 push up and 10 squats’.
But will self-compassion make you mediocre? No, it would not. On the contrary, it will help you get back on track. Self-compassion is not self-indulgence. If you fail to go to the gym or finish your task, self-compassion will not tell you to slack off or enjoy another series of GoT. Instead, self-compassion would encourage you to pick yourself up, dust the dirt and ensure that next time you do the right thing. Self-compassion is more about self-encouragement.
Next time you feel like shouting at yourself, just tell yourself – ‘Things like this happens. I am fine. Let me do one simple thing to move ahead’.
What has self-compassion to do with fat-loss, health, athletic performance? Think, think!